35 pounds to go!

So I need to lose 35 pounds.

35 pounds.... doesn't sound so bad. Right? In 10 months? hmmm. Is that realistic?

I would like to not be completely obese for my sister's wedding next May. I already ordered the dress in a size smaller then I really am, so I gotta do this. I need to lose at least 20 pounds for the wedding, but 35 is my ideal weight goal. Here is the dress I need to fit into:

Plenty of reasons to lost weight:

- stay healthy

- feel better about myself and feel more attractive

- clothes will fit nicer

- look good at Lindsay's wedding

- add years on to my life

- less strain on my back and feet

- breath easier when I lay down

Tools to help me succeed:

- Lose It! app on my phone. It tracks all the food I eat and shows me how much further I have to go on my weight loss journey.

- Gym membership. I have been going 4 times a week for an hour and a half. I do a combo of running on an elliptical, stretching, and weight lifting. I also have a gym partner in my friend, Beth.

- Books. I bought a few books that will keep my motivated including a Chicken Soup for the soul- Weight Loss version, which I read a story a night to help me stay inspired. I also bought some weight loss memoirs of other people who have successfully lost weight. 

- Blogs. I bookmarked  a few blogs that talk about fitness and weight loss. This will give me new work out ideas, food ideas, and help me stay on track.

- Kickball. I play kickball in a league every Monday night. This help me get a little extra exercise as well and it is so much fun!

The straw that broke the camels back:

There have been several (and I mean several!) times in my life where I have decided to go to the gym or start a diet. I usually do it for a bit and lose a few pounds only to quit when I miss macaroni and cheese and cheese enchiladas. 

So I gained like 10 pounds this year. I became the typical fucking girl who gained weight when she got a boyfriend. I know...dumb. Last month I went to NJ to visit my sister who just had a baby. My whole family was there even my mom from Florida. During my trip we had to go to try the bridesmaids dresses on....NIGHTMARE! I hate trying clothes on and being the fatty of the group. To top it off the entire week I was there my family would always find a round about way to mention my weight.

"Amanda, have you seen this cool new app? It tracks your food intake."

"Remember in college when you had a gym membership and lost a bunch of weight? What was that diet you were on?"

"Do you want to go take your little sister on a run?'

These are all other ways of saying "You got fucking fat, maybe you should exercise and stop eating." I get it. Not one person said "Hey Amanda, you look great." 

EVERY conversation turned into something about me and my weight. Other than the fact that I got to meet my new niece and see my family, it was the WORST vacation ever. It made me so depressed, I must have secretly cried 7 times while I was there. I came back to LA telling myself I wasn't going to NJ or FL for a long time so hopefully I can look better by the next time everyone sees me. I still have terrible confidence because of that trip. Just when I finally felt good about myself, my life, and my love life, I got kicked in the fucking face. Good one guys.

So here I am. 27, overweight, official member of Body Builders gym in Silverlake, and member of Weight Watchers/Lose It!

Over the next few months I plan to post photos and quotes that are meant to inspire me, document my weight loss journey, and feelings. 

I remember when I was at my skinniest and I thought I was so obese. Well this time I want to get back to that weight and actually feel good about myself.

Summer of 2006 with Dan and Nate.

New Year's 2012. The only thing cute about this photo is my boyfriend, George.

Wish me luck, I could definitely use it.